As we turn the corner and head full speed at the holiday season, many menopausal women have an additional burden to carry along with their never-ending quest to make the season bright and cheery. They have to fight their own body’s attempt at sabotage.

The dreaded scale

By now some of you have already surmised where I’m going with this. As a fairly typical menopausal woman I recently had a saliva test to measure my cortisol level and the function of my adrenal glands. Guess what? They were through the floorboards and I was told I needed to start taking steroids to jump start them.

The problem was I’d been trying to lose some weight. It had been a slow process but it had been working. Once I started the steroids, the weight loss stopped.

Then I went to my GP and he decided it was imperative I drop a few pounds. He wants to see me in January. This is NOT a recipe for success! I think he does it on purpose so it will ruin my entire holiday season – which for me includes my birthday and my anniversary.

Unfortunately for menopausal women everywhere – I don’t think my story is rare. I am left with a choice: ruin my entire holiday season and shun holiday festivities in order to diet drastically or sacrifice my health. Is there no happy medium?

I just came from a seminar on stress management. He gave some very good advice; unfortunately, none of it is practical for us so we’re going to have to go another way.

Stress Anyone?

First he said breathing is extremely important. That’s fine, we all have to breathe. Unfortunately, he went on to say that the only relaxing breathing is the kind where your stomach goes in and out – big time. He said “forget about your bellies and just breathe!” What do you think? Yeah, I’m not doing any breathing that makes my belly look any bigger than it already does! So thanks but no thanks.
Next on the list was: Get a good night’s sleep. Need I say more? How the hell much luck have you been having with that lately? And how easy is that to change?
His third point was finding time to relax while you’re awake; with my energy level being what it is and my ability to take a minute to sit still probably similar to yours. The best luck I HAVE with sleeping is when I’m trying to relax while awake.
So let’s recap the sleep issue: I can’t when I need to at night, I can’t NOT when I sit down to relax.
The final issue that he brought up is to wear relaxing and non-constricting clothing. Oh crap. I have three kinds of clothing: 1. Chico/JJill soft dress clothing – I wear it a lot – but you can’t wear it exclusively, 2. Comfortable, hang around the house clothing – which I do wear – but only around the house, and 3. Regular clothing – which may be comfortable on Monday and so tight it strangulates me on Tuesday – so sue me, I bloat!
So, in summary, we’re screwed!
Does anyone out there have some suggestions that will work for us?

The Percussionist’s Wife is a simple story of betrayal. The author turns an all too familiar tale into a fascinating and complex examination of an intelligent woman’s journey through a dark, life altering, episode. By sharing her thoughts and her thought process as she navigates this unbearably painful sojourn in her life, the author reveals the nuances that plague a woman during times of intolerable strife. Put simply, sometimes she’s brilliant and insightful, sometimes she’s into self-blame, sometimes she’s deep into denial and rationalization, almost sounding childlike in her naiveté.

Percussionist's Wife

Who among us has not wondered at our own level of intelligence when faced with a painful dilemma that would hurt far less were we to succumb to denial and rationalization? The author’s brutally honest portrayal of her daily mental climate is all too familiar. It is the most honest accounting of the disparity in our thought process as we move in and out of despair, hope, fury, relief and virtually every other emotion that plagues us as we work our way through life situations that make us feel frightened, insecure, self-doubting, angry and often worthless.

The author put herself out there so we could learn from her experience. She put herself out there so that we can feel worthwhile when we’re feeling worthless, and we can feel as though we’re not alone when we’re most alone.

If I were forced to find fault with The Percussionist’s Wife, it would be that the author, and protagonist, is clearly an intelligent and well-balanced individual, yet we only see the paranoid or rationalizing sides of her, and we don’t get very much information about the parts in her life that are working and wonderful. I think the dichotomy would be even more appalling were we to see how truly successful she is in other parts of her life.

Author

Monica Lee is a personal historian, blogger and writer. A former reporter and newspaper copy editor, she also worked for years as a marketing executive with Creative Memories and Homemade Gourmet. A native of Minnesota, she blogs about her everyday life at http://minnesotatransplant.wordpress.com and writes about writing at http://mindfulmonica.wordpress.com. She lives in northern Illinois with her second husband.

If she’s the menopausal author of the Donna Leigh Mystery: Is It Still Murder Even If She Was A Bitch, featuring a menopausal amateur sleuth, you probably have no choice.

I’d love to get some feedback on my Book Trailer. Please take a look and tell me if it would make you want to read the book.

Trans Vaginal Mesh revision surgery

This post comes to us compliments of guest author, Elizabeth Carrollton writes to inform the general public about defective medical devices and dangerous drugs for Drugwatch.com.

If you are a woman who is approaching menopause or have already gone through that change in life, there are a few things you should be looking out for as far as your pelvic health is concerned. No doubt, your doctor has given you a long list of signs and symptoms of various health conditions and diseases to watch for, but there is one common health issue that many doctors forget to include on that list for their female patients: pelvic organ prolapse (POP). If you have children, you are at risk, since POP becomes an issue for nearly half of all women who have given birth, and menopause is prime time for the condition to make itself known.

What POP is and How it Happens
Pelvic organ prolapse is caused by pelvic floor stretching or weakening. The pelvic floor is the structure that supports pelvic organs, such as the bladder, uterus and rectum, keeping them in their proper positions to ensure that they can perform their functions efficiently. Made up of muscles and connective tissues, the pelvic floor can be gradually damaged over a woman’s lifetime.
The biggest factor in that damage is the stress placed on the pelvic floor by pregnancy and childbirth, but other factors can also contribute to the development of POP. Heavy lifting, obesity, high-impact sports, pelvic surgery, chronic coughing or frequent constipation can be risk factors, and genetics can also play a role, since POP tends to run in families.
Then, menopause comes along, bringing with it decreased estrogen levels that can reduce elasticity in the pelvic floor. This is often the last straw for weakened and stretched tissues that have been just barely maintaining support for those pelvic organs.
What to Look For
Many women who have pelvic organ prolapse have no symptoms at all. On the other hand, women who have severe POP can have symptoms that are very troublesome and have a big impact on their day-to-day lives. Among the issues reported by women with POP are pressure, pain or a lump in the vagina or pelvic area, painful sex, vaginal bleeding, urinary problems and difficult bowel movements.
In severe cases, women may see tissue protruding through the vaginal opening. If you have any of these symptoms, talk to your doctor about them, since getting treated early can help keep POP from getting worse.

Treatments

Women who suffer mild to moderate pelvic organ prolapse symptoms often find relief with a regimen of pelvic floor exercises, weight loss and dietary changes. A pessary is often prescribed, which is a device that is inserted into the vagina to support the organs.
Severe symptoms may require surgical intervention. However, if you have POP and surgery has been recommended, there are a few things you should be looking out for there too. Many POP repair procedures over the last decade have included the use of transvaginal mesh implants, devices that are inserted through the vagina to support pelvic organs. Unfortunately, they have been linked to a growing number of serious complications.
According to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), the most frequently reported problems include mesh erosion through vaginal walls, organ perforation, mesh shrinkage and infection. These complications have caused pain for a lot of women and many times the symptoms are irreversible. This had led to the filing of a transvaginal mesh lawsuit by thousands of women seeking justice for their injuries. Often, more surgery is needed to correct these problems, and the FDA says that these procedures show no better clinical results than traditional POP repair.

Please address any questions on the above topic to the patient advocates at Public Outreach Department at DrugWatch.com: 800-452-0949.

A few weeks ago I was chatting with a relative who recently turned 46. She asked me “when does menopause typically start?” I said “the average age is 52.” Then she asked “and when does it end?” My response “never.” She looked at me quizzically so I explained.

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Do the Europeans truly understand the concept of air conditioning? I think not!

For the past two weeks I have had the wonderful good fortune of traveling in Italy and France. Although I’ve been there before, my trips are typically during ski season – being married to a ski fanatic as I am – and the beauty is far more arctic during trips of that nature.

Paradise

Seven years ago I visited the same villa in Anacapri and the experience was nothing short of paradise. That was pre-menopause. This time, my ankles – and other select body parts – swelled to gargantuan sizes preventing me from performing many simple tasks – such as bending.

The welcome – although minimal – a/c in our suite was not considered necessary throughout the living areas of the villa. Ironically, internet access was only available in the non-air conditioned living area where the six travelling cousins and their respective spouses all checked in to the office between sweat drenched dashes to their suites for sustenance against the unrelenting heat and humidity. Yes, everyone was sweating – not just my menopausal self. I, however, took it to an art form!

While the rest of the cousins traipsed diligently around the island, desperate to keep from missing a single sight, I spent my days in the pool, swimming and reading my book (yes, I read the book in the pool – it was my only chance for survival). I only joined the rest of the group for meals and boat rides which enabled us to dive into the waters of the Tyrrhenian Sea periodically – and even that was not relief enough!

Seven years ago the prospect of dining al fresco morning, noon and night was impossibly romantic and charming beyond belief. This time, although the food and wine was still manna from the gods, the constant stream of sweat shooting from my hairline and down into my eyes before dripping unceremoniously from my chin might have taken a bit of a toll!

As we moved on to meet friends in Paris and the Alsacian region of France, it became apparent that air conditioning is not often considered at all necessary to the good, but thin blooded, residents of France. There just wasn’t any! And there was no place to hide.

I had a wonderful time – but should the opportunity ever arise again – I will arm myself against heat prostration or I’ll stay in my air conditioned office and search for beauty on the internet!
One key thing I observed consistently: when you are soaking wet and sweat drenched like an old smelly dish rag – seeing the locals walk by in heavy sweaters and, in some cases, leather jackets DOES make it more painful. I don’t know why – it just does!

Check out the wonderful post that Erin Reel, The Lit Coach, wrote on her blog after interviewing me last week: http://thelitcoach.net/from-blog-to-book-with-robin-leemann-donovan/

From Blog to Book with Robin Leemann Donovan
by TheLitCoach | on June 21st, 2012 | 0 comments
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I love book titles that really get to the heart of what the book’s about. I also have a penchant for humor. When I was invited to attend a book reading/signing event for author Robin Leemann Donovan, I was only too glad to go – with at title like, Is It Still Murder Even If She Was a Bitch?, how could I not be entertained? And I was! In the decade I’ve been working with authors and their books, I don’t recall laughing quite so hard at a book reading. Totally refreshing.

The Lit Coach Interview

Donovan, a Managing Principal at Bozell, one of the top advertising agencies in the country, understands the vital importance of hook. At the urging of a friend, Donovan created Menologues, a blog devoted to helping women stumble less blindly through menopause. Her hook? Clearly humor but also authenticity – Donovan blogs, writes and speaks off the cuff, from the heart and with authority not just about menopause but about topics important to women 50+, who have largely been ignored in publishing and other media. That organic combo works for her. From my perspective, she’s on to something.

I asked Donovan for her three most important, need-to-know tips about writing and blogging. Here’s what she shared.
On Writing

Prepare for nothing happening as you would expect it.
Take notes on every chapter so you know where you’re going, where your loose ends are and when to tie them up (very important for mystery writers).
Get your work professionally critiqued and proofread. Friends and relatives are not your best beta readers, except my mother and I’ll loan her out.

On Blogging

Be specific. Stand for something.
Be relatable. Be authentic.
Be prepared. Do your homework. Discover and understand your market. Don’t touch on topics that everyone’s touched. Know what’s important and what isn’t.
Be open to the realities of the people around you and their unique experiences. Avoid stereotypes.

If you’ve had success creating a book from your blog, share your tips (and links!) here.

TLC

Before entering menopause what did I know about it? Apparently nothing. I’d heard that unbalanced hormones would make me sweat and act weird and even frighten people. I didn’t hear that clothing itself would be a daunting challenge from that point on.

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