I have the unequivocal answer to the question that everyone asks.  Will I get fat when I’m in menopause.  And the official answer is:  You might or you might not.  Helpful right?  They do tell you that weight gain is definitely something that happens to women in menopause –  but it doesn’t happen to everyone.  So far, no one has been able to tell me exactly why you gain weight.  I already know that if you had curves when you were younger you’ll probably have fuller curves as you get older.  Over time as the weight piles on the curves can fill in completely or morph you into a different and less desirable shape – don’t make me go on.  But why, in particular, is it worse during or after menopause? Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to the launch of Menologues … which starts as my journey through menopause. It is the hope that you will join in with me and we can share our journeys together. Even if you’re not the outspoken type and you‘d prefer to remain behind the scenes, Menologues can give you some support and maybe even a little guidance through this challenging phase of your life. Please consider sharing your story with us.

The new face of menopause is mine. It used to be that of an old lady, but not anymore. It’s not that I’m any younger than the women of yesterday – but I’m younger in spirit. And I’m not alone. Far fewer women going through menopause are frumpy and dowdy as were most of the women of 50, even 30, years ago. We’re living longer and we’re staying younger longer. Problem is – so many people still associate menopause with the time when a woman gets old so there’s that stigma. Some women wear it as a badge of courage – I’m old and I’m proud. But most of us would rather disassociate ourselves from the one thing that will certainly rob us of our youth. After my hysterectomy I was very quick to point out that I was in surgical menopause because I wanted people to know that I wasn’t old enough to get there naturally. And to some extent I still hang on to that surgical menopause life raft. In fact, I can honestly say that I’m younger than the age when the average woman enters menopause. And I’ll be saying that for as long as I can! Read the rest of this entry »

From the time a woman is in her late thirties her reproductive organs are starting to “get old.” For years doctors have harped on the fact that you need to have your kids while you’re still young (translating to some time in your twenties) or the incidence of infertility etc., rises fairly dramatically. Although that becomes increasingly difficult given current lifestyle choices there’s definitely some logic to it. Along those same lines, however, from the time we’re in our mid to late thirties doctors are starting to respond to comments regarding our physical complaints by telling us we’re “getting older.” I don’t mind telling you that it was quite a shock the first time I confided to my wonderful (I’m not being facetious – he was great) gynecologist/fertility specialist that things down south seemed to be going south and he responded, “Well, you are getting older.” I am not! – well, technically nobody’s getting younger – but hell, I was still a spring chicken when he said that. So, I’ve been hearing that parts of me were “getting old” for a very long time now. And unfortunately, that “getting older” response so frequently given to women is often a catchall for ignoring our changing bodies and our concerns about them. That’s not just disheartening – it can also be lethal. Read the rest of this entry »

When I first started telling people that I would be blogging about menopause a few of them were persistent in suggesting that I write about, “What my Mother never told me.” And as I sit down to write that’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve never looked at this whole experience thinking, “Wow Mom, you could have saved me a lot of hassle if you’d just come clean years ago.” In fact, she tries really hard to help me and she’s definitely supportive – almost to a fault – but in reality, this has mostly been a very solitary journey for me. And now that I think about it, I’m not exactly sure why. Read the rest of this entry »

As a young woman you don’t give much thought to menopause except to cringe at the dire warnings. You know its coming but you don’t know exactly how or when and it’s not like you can stop it. There’s a vague concern that you might be one of THOSE women who have to undergo a hysterectomy. But why fret over the distant future – just keep your head down and hope for the best. That’s what most of us do. Read the rest of this entry »

Menopause is another great example of how marketing and communication can take a difficult situation and make it far worse. From the time that we first begin to learn what being a woman is all about we also begin to learn that, whatever else it entails, menopause signals its death. Yes, as death is the end of life, menopause is the end of womanhood – right? Oh wait, is there female life after menopause? Sort of if you listen to those wimpy, sappy, old women arthritis and osteoporosis ads that patronize and condescend their way through telling you that life can still be good (and your gray hair can be perky) while you bounce your grandchildren on your knee – but how many of us are there yet – or want to be? What comes in between? Frankly, numerous articles written on menopause are really no better than those “let’s all be grandma’s” ads – they’re either painfully devoid of hope or nauseatingly patronizing. Read the rest of this entry »