The Different Faces of Menopause
Posted by Robin Leeman-DonovanIn truth every woman undergoing menopause presents “a different face of menopause.” In my personal experience the field is considerably narrower.
That’s probably because I don’t always know when a woman is undergoing menopause – it’s not like we all talk about it constantly – although there are those who think we speak of
nothing else!
The menopausal women I meet are often women like me, we’re not kids anymore but we have to function in society, and often in business. We’re battling symptoms and fighting weight gain, and trying to outfit ourselves in a way that looks youthful and stylish for our age – which is tough because of our changing shapes. We are faced with challenges from many vantage points, and they have to be juggled with all of the other balls we have in the air. Clothes don’t fit us as they used to, and we probably need a little more make-up to achieve that “clean, fresh look.” So in other words, we still have the same “stuff” we’ve always had to deal with, but it has become considerably more challenging now. It can be very disheartening. We are searching for answers that will help us function at a high level once again. If bio-identical hormones can provide that help, we owe it to ourselves to explore the option.
I also meet women who look phenomenal. They look far younger than their age and if they are fighting a weight battle – they are winning. These women invariably tell me that they just breezed through menopause and had no obvious symptoms or discomfort. Now I’m not saying this is true of all wonderful looking women – just the ones I seem to meet. They are invariably surprised and sympathetic when they hear of the trials and tribulations I’ve experienced. I can’t tell you how annoying they are! Do they think I want to look at their perky adorableness and hear that they “never really knew they were in menopause” because it was so easy? At least have the decency to keep your wrinkle-less lips shut! Needless to say, this woman doesn’t need anything to make her feel better – why would she?
The third and final menopausal woman I meet is the “all natural, all the time” woman. She tends to look her age or older. Her hair is usually gray and not particularly styled. Her clothes are flowing and comfortable and make-up is not a consideration. She may have had some issues with menopause, but they were all happily resolved with natural herbs and remedies. This woman loves everybody. Except me because I’m shallow and care about how I look. I met one of these “nature ladies” last weekend. She waited until I was speaking in front of a group of people before telling me with a mildly derisive look “you sure have a funny idea of what’s old.” True enough – wanna bet I think your idea of what’s old is “funny?” I don’t want your judgment about me and my lack of depth or me and my vanity, anymore than I want your dire warnings about bio-identical hormones – because one thing I’m not is stupid. If I’m using them I’ve done my due diligence. What makes you think your intelligence on the subject is any better than mine?
So here’s where I net out on all of this: if you’re feeling frustrated about your experience and believe that reaching out to a kindred spirit would help – I’ll do anything I can to help. If you’re feeling particularly perky and happy that you’ve managed to avoid the menopausal train wreck, or any sign that menopause has even occurred – don’t gloat in the faces of the rest of us. If you find yourself in the presence of a woman who has suffered greatly, just nod sympathetically and refrain from sharing. She doesn’t need to know all the wonderful and perky details of your wonderful and perky life. It might also keep her from strangling you with that chic little chain belt that fits so perfectly around your narrow little waist – the one she could wear on her wrist as a bracelet.
And as for nature woman. Take your judgments about every aspect of my life and your sage advice, roll them up into a tight little ball and shove them up your loose and flowing clothes!