Menopause is another great example of how marketing and communication can take a difficult situation and make it far worse. From the time that we first begin to learn what being a woman is all about we also begin to learn that, whatever else it entails, menopause signals its death. Yes, as death is the end of life, menopause is the end of womanhood – right? Oh wait, is there female life after menopause? Sort of if you listen to those wimpy, sappy, old women arthritis and osteoporosis ads that patronize and condescend their way through telling you that life can still be good (and your gray hair can be perky) while you bounce your grandchildren on your knee – but how many of us are there yet – or want to be? What comes in between? Frankly, numerous articles written on menopause are really no better than those “let’s all be grandma’s” ads – they’re either painfully devoid of hope or nauseatingly patronizing.

Maybe there’s little in between youth and Depends for women because the majority of us are too busy fighting our way through the menopausal maelstrom. And ironically, the negativity is often not because of the physical manifestations – stories of which have terrorized us far more than Freddie Krueger throughout our young womanhood, but more from the societal stigma and healthcare black hole that plagues the menopausal woman.
So what really gives with menopause. I’ve been asked to throw back the cloak and reveal all. Read on if you dare.

My own personal entry into menopause began when I had my hysterectomy – four years before the average (I only know this because my hysterectomy surgeon gave me the facts – no other doctor had ever shared any menopausal factual data with me). They call that surgical menopause. When entering into menopause naturally a woman must miss twelve consecutive menses (or periods). I think for me it was easier than most because I knew for sure – there was no guesswork for me. Since doctors don’t typically tell us that the average age to begin menopause is 52, and that symptoms of irregular cycles can occur for years before the actual onset, most women live in a world of confusion and uncertainty. And, let’s face it, since it has been built up as the next best thing to death we’re not in all that much of a hurry to get there fast – so we stick our heads in the sand.

There I was, plunged into menopause. Relishing the thought of no more messy and potentially embarrassing periods with painful cramping – that’s something I haven’t missed at all. And, as a woman nearing the age of menopause, some weird things start to happen that make those periods even less fun than they’ve always been. Typically even women who’ve run like clockwork are off schedule. They think they’ve missed a month when low and behold the dam breaks and nothing will hold back the tide (I’d get more graphic but you guys can’t take it) and it keeps going for two weeks. Suffice it to say that things become unpredictable and you’re never sure when you’re most likely to be embarrassed, not to mention uncomfortable.

While still in the hospital after my hysterectomy, the surgeon announced that I would need the estrogen patch – even if my personal choice would be to go off of it fairly quickly. So on went the patch and I was sent home. Now here’s where the marketing would have been helpful. Except it wasn’t. Nothing gave me a complete and plausible story. I talked to my doctors – they agreed on nothing. Even the articles I read went from “without hormone supplements you’ll be a dried up old hag within the week” to “if you take those supplements you will die of a heart attack while you’re in the hospital getting chemo for your breast cancer.” Those were my options “live life as a shriveled old crone or experience a young and horrific death” – tough choice. Aside from the prescription options that were being marketed through my doctor and all around me, were the natural supplements, Black cohosh, etc., that were guaranteed to improve the quality of what promised to be my rapidly declining life. And I’m not exaggerating here. These articles and these doctors all took an extreme viewpoint – there was absolutely no middle ground. And in my particular case – with no ovaries and no cervix – I had no alternate source of estrogen. It was at about this point that I learned that the estrogen from my patch wasn’t making it into my bloodstream – so I had to make some choices.

At that point in my life I had been without estrogen for a year and a half. It had been floating around in my system but that was not enough to do me much good. So what happens to a woman in menopause with no hormone supplements? In my case it was fairly subtle. I wasn’t experiencing a world of hot flashes, temper tantrums and torrents of tears – which many women do. I just felt like an old lady. How does an old lady feel? Hard to describe – but I know I never want to feel that way again! Something serious had to be done.

After a great deal of research, talking to doctors and women who had experienced menopause, reading books and articles, I came to one basic conclusion. Surviving menopause is about balance. Finding out what your body is missing and replacing it. No more – no less.

Now here’s where you’re thinking, “I know for a fact that hormone replacement can cause heart disease and breast cancer.” Well, yes it can. If you let some zealot talk you into taking a branded estrogen product that pumps 40% more synthetic estrogen into your bloodstream than you could ever possibly need, you’ve got an excellent chance of shortening your life. And in reality, we don’t really even know that for sure since the research conducted on this subject is, at best, inconclusive and, at worst, incomplete – believe me I’ve read it. But PR practitioners around the world are placing article after article condemning any hormone replacement as slightly more detrimental to the female population than Godzilla careening through Race for the Cure. So what then, shun hormones and brave the erratic and often embarrassing menopausal manifestations which can range from becoming a human Olympic torch and frightening all around you to sobbing your way through your late 40’s and 50’s? Or causing nightsweats that have been known to drown any companion brave enough to share your bed? And these are just the obvious physical issues. No, we’ve been through enough with those erratic periods – we want some quality of life now. Is that possible?

Happily, although you won’t see it in 98% of the literature, ads and doctor’s diatribes to which you are exposed, and you probably won’t even discuss it with other women because either they don’t want to talk about it or you’re too embarrassed to ask, there is the strong possibility of a win:win solution.

Start by finding a physician who understands the complexities of a woman’s body and realizes that every woman’s body responds somewhat differently. Sound hard? One good way is to talk to your chiropractor and ask for a reference. Another is to research gynecologists who are open to bio-identical hormone replacement. Once you find the right doctor, you will take a blood test to determine the amount of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone that’s in your system. The results will show how much of these hormones need to be replaced in order for your body to parrot your system prior to menopause. In order to ensure that you are given the precise amount needed, it’s likely that your hormones will be administered in a transdermal cream, possibly a transdermal patch or a troche (which is a wax-like substance placed in your mouth between gums and cheek and allowed to dissolve). These, through-the-skin delivery systems are best because they reach your bloodstream faster as well as bypass organs like your liver – always a good idea in general.

In my case it was the methodical implementation of a bio-identical hormone system that dragged me back out of “the dance of the living dead” and gave me back my youth. And it really is the only thing that makes sense – no matter what all of those doctors, ads and articles say. I had hormones when I was young. I lost them when I got older. Now I’ve got them back – or the closest thing I could get to the ones that I was producing naturally.
And I’m back, baby! Skiing down slopes in Utah, taking dancing lessons and generally enjoying life!

My journey made me realize how much I’d learned to depend on marketing for my information – boy did it ever fail me this time.

Contact me if you’d like further details (believe me this is the tip of the iceberg) – I’d love to help just one woman avoid the maelstrom.