10 years ago if you asked me for my thoughts on retirement I would have said “it’s not for me. They’ll have to bury me with my desk.”

Now, not so much. Don’t get me wrong – I still view myself as young and vibrant – but after all these years of 9 to 5 I could use a break.

The thought of retirement used to instill images of old, fat, white haired folks, feeble and dependent on a cane or a walker with nothing to do but sit on a park bench. These days the images are more like a chic one-piece bathing suit, holding a planter’s punch and gazing out at a breathtaking Caribbean view!

What has changed?

Is it that I’m getting closer to “the magic age” and imposing a self image that feels more like me? I doubt it. Based on my unwitting battle to avoid other age-related events why would my internal encyclopedia suddenly have the ability to transform itself regarding the biggest age related event next to death – retirement? I should be running like mad to avoid it – shouldn’t I?

I used to love my work. I still love my work. But somehow the switch has been flipped. I’ve gone from someone who could not even conceive of retirement to someone who wonders when I’ll be able to make that happen.

I remember stories of people who had to be forcibly removed from their company at 70 or 75 and I used to actually fret thinking ‘if it happens to me I’ll put up a hell of a fight.’ Not anymore!

I remember hearing people proudly share their much anticipated countdown to retirement and think that they must not have had interesting or rewarding work – is that what it was? Or were they just more realistic about the various life stages of an individual than I have apparently been?

I find this a particularly interesting phenomenon. Especially since it’s happening to me and I’m having trouble understanding what’s going on in my own head.

I can hear myself saying things differently during the course of day to day conversations. I don’t view retirement as the verboten subject that I once did. I occasionally interject a viewpoint on my eventual retirement depending on the subject. Is that something better left kept to myself? By openly acknowledging the approach of retirement am I rendering myself a lame duck in the world of business? Years ago I would have thought so. Now I just don’t know.