We all know and fear the dreaded muffin top.

But did you know that there is also a faux muffin top which can be almost as devastating? Actually, I just created the term “faux muffin top” to describe a phenomenon which has recently come to my attention.

The traditional muffin top

While everyone knows about the traditional muffin top – when your pants are too tight and your skin curves up and out the top rendering your shape that of a freshly baked muffin. Shirts/blouses look hideous as they glide over the blobs of flab that hang over your belt loops. This is definitely something to be avoided at all cost!

But what about the faux muffin top? This phenomenon is created when your pants fit you perfectly – standing up. When you sit down, however, a major gap is created in the back sucking your pants into your gut thus creating the front butt muffin phenomenon or faux muffin top. Yes, it’s a one-sided muffin top – from behind your pants look way too big – ironic, right? Maybe, but still grotesque.

And they wonder why we prefer a more forgiving style of slacks. Let’s stamp out the faux muffin top before it becomes a household word! Keep America beautiful!