I logged on to Vibrant Nation to see what was up and once again saw their credo “What Women 50+ Know” and it gave me pause for thought.

Women 50+ know everything. But we so often doubt ourselves. Why?

For many generations men ruled. Their authority was ultimate. We are probably the first generation where that still prevailed in our childhood, but had abated substantially by the time we hit the workforce. The smell was still in the air but the garbage had already been picked up at the curb.

We're a generation with the freedom to think and act independently. So why all the self-doubt?

We had experienced those autocratic men and their expectations of sovereign rule but the majority of us were not governed by them. At least not overtly.

So where did that leave us? Perhaps a bit confused. We saw a society where the woman was expected to question everything she thought if it did not dovetail with the thoughts of the man in charge, yet we were encouraged to think for ourselves and be independent. A lesson from our female ancestors to “do as I say and not as I do”. That’s easier said than done. Who are these women if not our role models, the ones who shaped our unformed youth into the women that we became. Mimicking their behavior would only be natural for us, but we were taught otherwise.

Many of those subliminal messages have crept deep into our psyche and they have an undeniable impact on how we respond to so many things. We lived through the transition of traditional roles and it was often anything but smooth. As I write this post I am starting to believe that a full understanding of this phenomenon will help me to find one of the missing links, the one responsible for shaping me in a way that is often confusing and has blocked me from finding an elusive inner harmony. Why is it that sometimes I find myself apologizing for thinking and other times I tear someone apart for daring to doubt me?

We are truly an enigma – is this the reason why?