Dear Mom,

I want you to know how very fortunate I feel to have had you with me for all these years – 54 and counting.  Especially since you lost your own parents before your 30th birthday.  That also means that you didn’t have a hands-on role model in dealing with an adult daughter.  I think you’ve struck an excellent balance in your role as my friend, teacher, mentor and yes even sometimes tormentor.

I saw in you many of the things I wanted to be and maybe one or two I wanted to avoid.  After 54 years I’d still like to look as good as you do in a slinky dress (there are times I’ve come close – though not very often)!

It’s still always a huge thrill to know that I’ve made you proud.  Let’s face it you have one other daughter and dammit I want to be the favorite!  And it really breaks my heart when I think what I’m doing is not good enough for your rigid requirements: whether that’s in decisions I’ve made on which restaurant to go to, to larger life decisions about where to live or buy a vacation home, or even whether it’s your obvious dislike over my latest hairstyle.  But one thing I know – you always have my best interests at heart – no matter how wrong you might be over an individual issue (I can too carry off this hairstyle no matter what you say!).

One thing I learned when we lost Dad was that I had two people in the world who have always wanted and will always continue to want the best for me, would kill a bear bare-handed for me and will fight anyone to the death (even me) for trying to hurt me – and now there’s only you.  Oh sure I have a great and supportive husband – but he hasn’t been in it from the beginning – only since I turned 21 – so he’s a bit of a Johnny come lately.  But you’ve been there from day one making sure that no one stood in the way of my happiness or success.  And battling me when my decisions did not agree with your assessment – because, of course, you knew best!

What I’m trying to say in my rambling way is that I have always been thrilled and proud to have you as my Mother.  You were not like everyone’s Mom baking cookies and teaching us how to ride bikes – but we sure know what kind of heel goes best with a slinky little black dress – and for me that difference has made you so much more interesting.  You taught us to be proud of our intelligence and to be able to take care of ourselves.  And that has been worth more than I can ever say.

I have always appreciated you and our relationship.  I have no friend I value more.  And my appreciation of you has grown as I’ve matured and experienced life.  I may have said it before but I feel incredibly fortunate to have you as my Mom.  And I hope you realize all that you’ve contributed toward make my life the wonderful experience it’s been.  Thanks, Mom!