The majority of what you read about menopause addresses various related complaints and ways in which to mitigate them. It can be pretty disheartening. Others typically view you with anything from sympathy to revulsion (those damn young people can be brutal and they don’t even realize it half the time – sure their day will come – but we’ll be dead so what good will it do us?). Given those circumstances all of my urgings to reposition menopause as something positive versus its current capacity as the last station stop before death should fall on deaf ears – right? I mean what could be positive about a resounding confirmation of old age? But is that really what menopause is about – or should be about? Did nature provide us with a major stage in our lives only to serve as a reminder of imminent death? Doubtful.

Native Americans were inclined to see menopause as a rite of passage and a celebration. Women having reached an age of wisdom and knowledge. And reports indicate that their symptoms were minimal compared to what we frequently experience. So what does that mean? It means that the people who understand nature better than any other group known to exist on earth believe that menopause is to be celebrated and not feared. It probably also means that all of the “crap” that we’ve shoveled into our bodies from birth to cycle cessation has messed us up enough to cause some physical backlash once we arrive at this particular life stage. Once again processed sugar takes its toll!

But where does that leave us? Our current society has managed to take what should be a beautiful time in our lives and turn it into something that makes us cringe. Are we gonna let them get away with it? Hell no! We need to reclaim the positive in menopause and allow ourselves the celebration that’s due us. And that will take some hard work on our parts – we can’t sit back and expect “society at large” to fix this mess for us – we’re gonna have to do it ourselves! In fact we have to start by changing our own attitudes. By investing in ourselves if you will.

Let’s start by re-examining the part we know is good. Those of you who follow Menologues know the sheer joy of “NO MORE PERIODS EVER” from reading Phantom Period (not that that was a tough one to figure out). You can never again be held hostage by the monthly “visitor” that threatens to embarrass you at any given time by appearing unannounced and unwelcome and catching you off guard without “feminine protection”, or by defying that very “feminine protection” and covering you with a shockingly vivid ooze of angry red. Even without the violent visual evidence of your personal humiliation this “visitor” often delights in cutting you down at the least opportune moments with gut wrenching cramps that can take your very breath away and leave you feeling, and acting, like a limp noodle. Good riddance! And gone once and for all are the hormonally charged monthly mood swings (we’re loathe to admit the existence of these moods because we take such a bad rap for them – we can control them – but it can be damn hard work. I think the reason that Ella Grasso was voted in as the first woman Governor of Connecticut was because of her opponent’s snide remark that they’d have to “shut down the state for five days a month”). Shedding egregious inconveniences are the obvious benefits to menopause. What I’ve come to realize is that there are other, more subtle, advantages.

The majority of the menopausal women with whom I’ve spoken have acknowledged a heightened sense of control over other aspects of their lives. Demanding more of others – and not in a narcissistic way. Being freer to understand our needs and desires and express them more eloquently. Perhaps the physical freedom we’ve gained paves the way to a more complete metamorphosis – hell I don’t know. You won’t find evidence of this advantage in any articles on menopause – but it’s there. I feel it and I see it in others. We have advanced in our journey. So now we just need to create a shift in the paradigm. Instead of looking out over a sea of faces ranging from deepest sympathy to unbridled amusement when menopausal status is revealed the reaction should be one of reverence and respect – even a slight bit of envy.

I deserve no less. Nor do you.