Let me start by saying “Be careful!”  When you wake up on that minus 5 degree day your temptation will be to pull on the long johns and break out the heavy socks and boots.  And trust me – if you do you’ll likely live to regret it.  Hell, I can’t even wear a suit jacket in the office on some of the coldest days of the year.  My best advice to you is “never forget the menopausal furnace when dressing”.

Many of those alarmingly frigid days go something like this: you wake up to face a miserably cold and bloodless day.  In an effort to make yourself toasty warm you dig out all of that really heavy gear and pull on and zip or button up layer after layer.  Then once you make it into the office your internal furnace clicks on.  And that’s when it starts to get hot.  You begin to perspire and for the next 45 minutes move from uncomfortably hot to drenched and thoroughly soggy.  And now you’re a clammy mess.  For the rest of the day you avoid standing next to co-workers.  Well honestly – does the deodorant exist that could take you through an experience like that and leave you smelling like a rose?  I’ll give you a little clue: IT DOESN’T!!!

My best advice for those frigid winter days: dress in removable layers!  And by that I mean, make sure that t-shirt (the one underneath the heavy wool sweater that you stand no earthly chance of keeping on for the entire day) does not have pit stains or is not too short to make it over your gut.  Because Honey, that’s gonna be your outfit when you frantically peel off the sweater in an Olympian race to save yourself from spontaneous combustion.   Never underestimate the power of the furnace.  It will turn on in the coldest of climes and melt everything within a five foot radius.

Fortunately the other night I had the foresight to make a brilliant winter dressing decision.  We were having a little holiday wine tasting soiree and I was selecting an outfit.  Remembering a similar party the previous summer during which one of my guests glanced at my sweat soaked hair and blouse, observed the rivers of sweat running down my face and quipped “Oh that happens to me too” (so much for “no one will notice”), I was determined that this time I would pull it off with some finesse.  So I grabbed a summery sleeveless little top – although it was a mid-December occasion – and proceeded to get dressed.  I can’t pretend I didn’t notice mild surprise on the faces of my guests (who undoubtedly felt cold just looking at me) but the important thing is that I didn’t turn into a soggy smelly blob of a hostess wondering why I had gone to all of this work and expense only to convince everyone beyond a shadow of a doubt that my hygiene practices are questionable at best.   For the most part I was calm cool and collected (I did have one brief moment of “if I could just get to the freezer and stick my head inside I might be ok” but thankfully that passed without incident).  I made it through like a champ!

On a parting note I leave you with two pearls of wisdom.  First, there will be those days when you are inordinately cold so go ahead and break out the heavy gear – but don’t be lulled into a false sense of security and lose sight of the fact that that could change in a heartbeat – never ever veer from the layering strategy!  And finally, don’t confuse this phenomenon with hot flashes.  There are numerous heat-related aspects of menopause, hot flashes, night sweats and this charming occurrence that I fondly refer to as The Furnace. They’re all different – although probably related in some way – and they all cause their own brand of hell.  But they must be identified individually and accurately in order to be scrutinized and ultimately conquered.  So go forth and conquer!